Grow(n) Up

Grow(n) Up

I opened the door and there it was

bare, empty, deserted - but still

Blinding. 

It looked me right in the eyes, as if to say

“Grow up.”

But what does that mean?

does it mean that I must now abandon 

those childish, carefree summer days?

the way we would lay

on the lush dewy grass and share secrets of who we aspired to be

one day?

must I give up the tickled spews of giggles that would explode from our grinning smiles - the way we would laugh

until we could taste our tears?

does it mean bidding farewell to the ones we hold dear?

or letting go of my dreams, the precious fantasies that have carried me here?

I don’t know 

but I do know this

I know that once my dreams aren’t dreams anymore

but my life, my reality, my world

what I wake up to each dawn as the sun rises

what I fall asleep to each dusk as it sets

once I have reached that place

that place that reconciles the child I was with the grown-up I desired to become

that perfect place I have dreamed about

I’ll be a step closer to

“Growing up.”

When I open the door to this place

it won’t be bare, empty, deserted

but full, abundant, and complete

and it will be all mine.